I know that this website is supposed to be "for people only"... but if you knew Jessica you also knew Mick, and vise versa. So, it is only fitting that they should be - and stay - together in death, as they did in life.
Jessica was born on 3/6/1987.
She was an easy child to raise, and I loved being her Mom. Jessica was compassionate and had a big heart, especially for the "underdogs" in this world. She loved school, had many friends, and was popular - but she never let that go to her head. She wanted to become a doctor when she was small, and always told me that she wanted to provide free care for those who couldn't afford it otherwise. She had big dreams, my daughter... one of them was to be able to adopt an unwanted older child, and she talked about this often.
She would've made a terrific Mom some day.
Jessica was funny... she had a great sense of humor, and she smiled often. She loved to read, write, and draw. She was kind, compassionate, and giving. She loved Mick, and used to call him her "pesky little brother". The two of them had a special relationship, right from the minute she discovered him under a neighbors back porch. And even though Mick ended up adopting me and being my heart dog - she never once resented him for it.
Jessica was diagnosed w/bi-polar disease when she was 13. It created much turmoil for her, but she tried to face it with courage and optimism.
She graduated from high school in 2006. She planned to go to college and decided to join the army in 2008 to help pay for her education.
Mick always used to say "you TALK too much"... and, in true fashion, this will be loooong - but bear with me for one last time.
First, let me share Micks last day... I took Mick back to the vet in the morning. He hadn't been doing well, and had stopped eating a couple of days ago. He looked tired. He seemed to be in pain and he had a hard time breathing. He didn't put up a struggle while he was being sedated, but he did give a token growl, just to keep up appearances. We waited for him to "go under". 30 minutes later... we still waited. The vet and I had talked in the meantime, and I knew it was bad... if your vet has tears in her eyes after having almost been mauled several times over the past three years - you know the news can't be good. We waited some more, and finally Mick got another shot. Still, his ears kept perking up and his eyes would not close. I asked one of the vet techs to get us an ice cream from McDonalds, and after Mick had that we got comfortable on the floor. The vet left the room and turned off the lights... I was laying on my back w/my head against the door, and Mick was next to me with his head on my chest. We had a long talk, and every so often the tip of his tail would wag a little bit... just enough to let me know that he was listening, and agreeing... or not. I thanked him for the best almost-seven years of my life. I told him that it was an honor to have shared my life with him, and that I knew he was only hanging on for my sake. I promised that I would take good care of "his Jessica" for him, and that he didn't have to worry about us. I told him I loved him so many times that he finally rolled his eyes at me and snorted. He also got a third shot. In true Beast fashion it took enough sedation for a 95-pound dog, and over two hours, before he finally gave in and went to sleep.
The vet did more blood work, some fine needle aspirations, and a physical exam. Micks liver and spleen were extremely swollen, the lymphnodes around his throat were so swollen that he almost couldn't swallow. Even w/a prednisone shot and/or oral chemo he might've only had 2-3 weeks left... and he would've been in pain and very uncomfortable.
I had him euthanized while he was still under sedation, and I held him until his heart stopped and he wasn't breathing anymore. I know the neurons do their thing after death... and when Mick sort of twitched and moved... everyone except me took a quick step away from the table... pure reflex... but he would've had a big smile on his face over that one. He scared the vet one final time, my big goof ball of a dog.
What else is there to say...
a piece of my heart died when he passed, and I will miss him.
He's been a better friend to me than most people I know, and he was my family.
Those of us whom he loved he loved completely, and without reservation. He was loyal to a fault, and the most forgiving being I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
He was funny. He was stubborn. He was a creature of habit. He might've hated people, but he was kind and loving towards all the little creatures that came and went through our house during his lifetime. He was generous. He had a huge heart and a smile to match.
Most of all - he loved life. He truly lived life to the fullest whenever possible, and he was happiest when he could spend his time with us. Didn't matter where we were, or what we did... as long as he was with us, he was content.
Mick changed me in ways I never could've imagined... and I am grateful that I had the opportunity to have him in my life. He brought so much joy and happiness in my world... and that's the only reason I let him go.
I owed him that.
Be at peace now, my beautiful goofy boy. I love you. I will miss you. And THANK YOU for having been "mine" as long as you were.
I can't even begin to put into words how devestated I am. Losing her and Mick within two days of each other is not something I can even comprehend yet... but I have to believe that they will watch over each other, wherever they may be.
I don't know how I will get through this, or if I ever will. I don't know how to carry on from here, by myself.
I do know that I will never be the same, and that this pain won't ever go away... it will be an ache in my heart that can never be healed.
I also know that the world is so much poorer without Jessica... and a lot less bright.
Be at peace now, Jess... and know that you were the very best part of me. I will hold you in my heart as my biggest treasure... and I will miss you more than you'll ever know.
With so much love, and so much sorrow... Mom
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know.
But I do not approve.
And I am not resigned.
~ Edna St. Vincent Millay ~
If you want to Create Free Memorial Website, please click here
Please fill email addresses if you wish to let your relatives and friends know about JESSICA CHEMNITZ - Online Memorial Website
Please fill email address if you wish to receive emails about new content added to JESSICA CHEMNITZ - Online Memorial Website